The nice thing about having a little quiet corner of the internet that no one ever visits is that you can write stuff about the irritating people who cross your path in life!
I'm feeling very unsettled and frustrated today by the gaslighting and vitriolic attack by someone who used to be close to me. They felt a comment I left on facebook was rude and over-the-top. I commented back their own FB status about making things their problem when they aren't. This person was convinced that this was their problem, despite not being tagged in the post or any comments. It was excessive.
So after their attack, I blocked them. I also apologized to the OP for my overtly intense comment, and deleted that comment. This person then came on their husband's account to post at me YET AGAIN about how I am out-of-control.
I privately messaged her husband that she needs a reality check on what "out of control" looks like, asked her to stop gaslighting me, then blocked him.
Previous to this, I had made a comment on a post by this person's sister. This person messaged me separately and we disagreed about several things in our conversation before they told me to "fuck off and butt out".
This person is a BULLY. They are having their own mental health crisis - it seems to be cropping up in their family due to unresolved and unprocessed childhood trauma. This person seems to suffer from various Cluster B personality traits including Borderline Personality Disorder ... if I had to fit them into a box.
I don't need this person in my life. I don't need their fakeness. I don't need their attacks. I don't need them attempting to control and police my life - online or offline.
I even wrote them a little song this afternoon with all my rantings and ravings. It was fun and cathartic.
As much as I enjoy debating and arguing, and as contrarian as I am, I do not like conflict deep down. I'm an Enneagram 2 - The Helper. I feel most useful when I'm in helping role, and it's in my nature to reach out to those in pain to see if I can assist them. I'm also a therapist and mental health professional so I have training to do this.
That being said, because I like to help, I admit that I can insert myself where it's not necessary. That being said, if you're going to make a lengthy post on facebook about stuff ... to me that's invitation for commentary. If you don't want comments - make that clear, maybe? Then again, I suppose I will take this person's advice from now and on and just "fuck off" unless someone specifically asks me for help.
So I'm a little unsettled about this recent activity. I spent a long time today and yesterday examining my shadows and having some inner dialogues with myself. I can see where I messed up. I don't know if the other person believes they were out of line in any way. Despite my own errors in the situation, I do not agree with their behavior or their public attacks that to me were unwarranted and over the top.
As such, this person is now out of my life! For better or for worse. It is what it is. I just hope it does not have further repercussions on the other people I hold close to me.
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