Harry Potter, Departure, and Intelligent Design

A three-fold post about a few things that have struck me as of late:

To begin, I recently finished reading the last Harry Potter novel: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Readers be warned there are spoilers ahead, so if you'd like to skip the next few paragraphs, please do so.

I found this book to be similar to the preceding books of the HP series: too long. I would say half of this book could have been eliminated to create a much more satisfying novel. So much time was spent describing Harry, Hermione, and Ron sitting in a tent puzzling over where the remaining Horcruxes were located. (It had been two years since I had read the last HP novel, so for the majority of this book I had no idea what a Horcrux was...) Not to mention the search for the Deathly Hallows which, although supposedly the main idea of the novel (at least according to the title), seemed to be trival compared to the more obvious query of who would survive: Harry or Voldemort.

And, in fact, this dispute was not so easy to solve either. Despite Harry walking straight up to Voldemort and receiving a death blow, he was not killed. Rather he spent some idyllic moments with Dumbledore in some sort of Purgatory, where Dumbledore explained (rather clumsily, I thought) why Harry was not yet dead.

To be fair, I'm glad that Harry Potter didn't die. I mean, it would have been plain cruel if J.K.Rowling had allowed the beloved hero of so many children to have met his demise, even if it meant that Voldemort would also die. Still, I think it would have been a more "epic" novel if Harry had actually died, and the remaining chapter wasn't about how everyone lived happily ever after.

In any case, I found it rather unfortunate that so much of the book was wasted with uselessness. The real action started in the last third of the book, at which point, I have to admit, things became very entertaining. I have to say that I enjoyed the last few chapters. And I really did believe that Harry was going to meet his end.

To J.K. Rowling: your last HP novel gets a 7...maybe a 7.5 out of 10 from me. I know, it means nothing because you're a millionaire but hey, I can critique if I want to.

(p.s. - Does anyone else find that Rowling's language is quite simple - obviously, these are supposed to be children's books after all - but every now and then she'll throw in an obscure word, seemingly just for the hell of it? It's so out of character...drives me crazy.)

Next on the list: departure. I had the rather unfortunate circumstance of having a bunch of people all leave my current city at around the same time. Two very good friends left within 5 days of each other, my darling boy left as well, and so did my brother.

It was nice that so many of my friends randomly came home for a week or two and we were all able to spend time reminiscing, partying, just hanging out and enjoying each other's company. The only bad thing was that these people left!

Then my sweetheart departed on his journey to India. That was not fun. I had been bracing myself for it, obviously, but it still sucked big time. Fortunately he has been spoiling me by keeping in touch so well - I have to admit, I'm pleasantly surprised :) Still, it's another few weeks until his return and it's going to feel like forever!

And lastly, my brother returned briefly from his job in B.C. before heading off to Australia! I'm so proud of him for going because it's been a goal of his for a very long time and it's so wonderful that he's doing something he really wants to do. Of course it makes me terribly sad that I have no clue when I will see him again, but I know that this is an important thing for him to be doing and so I'm sending him all kinds of good vibes as he sets out for whatever he's looking for.

So with all these departures (and, in fact, another good friend is going back to her locale tomorrow) it feels like my life is emptying out a little bit. I mean, I have plenty to keep me busy - learning all this challenging music - but it's nice to have all your friends around. I don't like saying good-bye, either. I mean, once they're gone, they're gone and I can sort of deal with it. But it's that last hug, that..."Okay well I don't know when I'll see you again but...take care...keep in touch", that...leaving - those are the things that really get to me.

My last rant has to do with the concept of Intelligent Design. Now, i've had my fair share of debates on this topic, and I know many of my friends will attest to that! But I watched a movie tonight that really has me thinking again about all this creation vs. evolution business that I've kind of pushed aside for a few years.

The movie was Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed and it's a documentary featuring Ben Stein visiting a sequence of universities to question scientists and professors on both sides of the debate between evolution and creation.

Due to my own personal departure from any form of organized religion, I have to admit I have questioned the existence of a creator. I believe, though, that there really must be a creator - a god, if you want to call it that - who is responsible for creating the universe and the first life form on planet earth.

What I found most interesting was that despite the most fervent claims from proponents of the Darwin theory that humans have evolved, no one knows how life got here in the first place. Celebrated novelist, atheist, and Darwinian Richard Dawkins stated in his interview that no one knows how life first came to be - even at the smallest level of the first cell.

Another point that was raised by an atheist (who also said that the study of Intelligent Design was a concept so boring to him that he could not bear to think about it) was that his investigation into Darwinism led to his atheism. He also brought up something that I used to think about alot, which is that evolution takes away the possibility of life after death, a deep sense of morality, and the concept of free will.

I'm not sure I necessarily agree with all of what this gentleman said (his name eludes me at the moment), but that evolution presents no hope for any kind of afterlife is obvious. I have atheist friends who have a sense of morality (though what constitutes morality these days is also up for grabs), though who they owe any responsibility to is only their conscience, and hopefully an obligation to other humans on this planet. Therefore, if one becomes jaded, it may become easier for an atheist (or even someone who doesn't really care about god's role in their life, if they do believe in a higher power) to allow their sense of morality to collapse.

As for the concept of free will...well, I don't even know if I have enough information to start. Could evolution take away free will? Why would it? I don't really have an answer to this at the moment.

A touching (although perhaps unnecessary and unrelated) portion of the movie is when Ben Stein learns of the connection between Hitler and Darwin - namely that Hitler apparently used Darwinian principles in his efforts to stamp out anyone not of the Arian race.

However...It seems a little farfetched that evolution/Darwinian concepts of "natural selection" were the driving force behind the eradication of so many Jews, homosexuals, handicapped, and many other groups of people...Perhaps it had an influence - one cannot say it was the only influence, but, on the other hand, one cannot say that it had no influence whatsoever.

I think the biggest problem (and one rightly addressed by Stein) is the freedom of speech (or lack thereof) in discussing Intelligent Design as a possible theory to the origin of the first life forms on this planet. Because, after all, evolution is technically a theory like anything else.

And if you want to apply this principle to a wider degree - it's freedom of speech in many different areas. In this case, I don't know why teaching the possibility of Intelligent Design in a classroom should not be banned. Why is the teaching of evolution put on such a pedestal? It's because ID presupposes some kind of religious belief, and if you allow religion to get its foot in the door, there is no telling what other liberties it might take in the education of today's yound minds (not that I'm advocating religion in the classroom).

But is that not teaching a narrow-minded point of view? Should we not present all arguments in order to give people the best, most well-rounded education? Is teaching evolution as the only valid explanation to human existence not a little ignorant?

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Take them or leave them.

Peace

Change of plans

Well I suppose I should clear things up and come right out and say it: I'm not going to India...at least, not anytime soon! The whole school thing got totally ridiculous and I decided to just forego that whole business because 1) I couldn't make a 3-year commitment when I wanted to do so much more in 3 years and not know what I was really getting myself into and 2) I had already dealt with so much administration bullshit that I really didn't feel like dealing with more of the same for the next 3 years!

As for my own personal travel plans, well those were supposed to pan out from November-January but as it turns out I was offered some well-paying and musically stimulating gigs here in Regina that I really just couldn't turn down. It will get me playing again, too, which is something I've been missing a ton lately but have found so hard to do without a concrete goal to work towards.

So here I am, feeling like I did 5 years ago when I took a year off after high school - working, saving money, living at home. It's honestly so weird to not be in school. In a way I miss University SO much, but at the same time I'm glad to just be chilling and doing my own thing. I feel so much like the free spirit I've been wanting to be for the longest time :) The only thing is that I also hugely feel the need to be doing something much more creative than working at a restaurant.

Luckily I do have these music gigs. Plus I will be accompanying my sister on her graduating recitals and her music is wickedly awesome, but wickedly hard. I'm grateful for the challenge, though!! I need to get my brain cells recharged.

But what about India?!?! Well it's driving me crazy that I'm not going. What makes it worse is that mon petit coeur de sucre is leaving for India on Sunday!...for a month and a half!! I'm totally jealous that he'll be there, checking out so many cool things, while I'm here in the miserable cold. Not only that, but I'm deprived of mon tresor for that long, too. It's going to be so weird not to have him around since we've become so close in such a short period of time, and we've been spending a lot of time together.

In a way though, I'm glad he's going before me so that he can tell me what to expect for when I do go...eventually. It's still way up high on my priority list. And I will absolutely be going to India before I do a Masters program, because that's the goal I made for myself. Besides, I'm not in a huge huge rush to do my Masters since I haven't fully decided which field for surely I want to specialize in.

Anyway, I thought I should clarify the situation for people who may have been wondering why I was still in Regina and not in India walking around in dusty sandals with a 60-litre backpack on, as had been my intention for such a long time.

That's the word though.
Keep it real!

Postsecret

Okay, I know that www.postsecret.com is supposed to by anonymous. Well, since one of my friends found me out, I figured that maybe everyone should just know, too.

I sent in a postcard that was a picture of my friend Lucky. The caption on the photo read "Even though your heart saved someone's life...I wish it was still beating inside of you." And the picture was one that I took of Lucky myself, in the back room of India House - he's showing off his pipes. He was so proud of his big arms - always flexing and making people touch them haha.

I don't know how I feel about having this secret posted. It's totally insane to me that so many people are going to be reading this postcard and feeling...whatever it is they will feel. When I myself look at my own card, I feel so sad. I'm so glad that it's up there and that I sent it in. And I do know that there will be viewers that can relate, obviously since some people have written comments. And that is just mind-blowing to me that this little statement of mine, this small personal sentiment, has caused someone somewhere to feel something.

And honestly I didn't even know that this card would make it on to the website. I even sent it, like, a week ago. I had thought about it for a long time - what can I do to show that I miss my friend. And, you know, it did make me feel better mailing that card. I wouldn't have thought that it would be hard at all to just throw it in the mailbox and let that be the end of it. But then again, I'm giving away a part of myself - making myself vulnerable to anyone I know who frequents that site...because I'm pretty sure anyone who knows me will know that I'm the one who sent that card in.

But there shouldn't really be anything wrong with expressing your feelings and thoughts. And I think about Lucky a lot and just wonder...where he is! I don't have a concrete belief in what happens after we die, so it makes me ponder where my buddy is. Sometimes I do become quite philosophical and wonder about this world, this life, this universe...I hope one day I will figure it all out. And I hope that one day I will see my friend Lucky again.

Because in all honesty, I don't understand death at all. When I interact with humans, I'm almost blown away by the fact that we can communicate, share thoughts, share feelings, share love, express ourselves...even on the most basic or the briefest of levels. So to think that all that can be snuffed out, be gone, be demolished...it's so mind-boggling to me. I can't wrap my mind around it, and so for myself it's easier to just excuse it all and say that the people I know who have died have just gone away for a long time.

Except the thing is...I told myself that about Lucky...and at this point, I'm ready for him to come back. And that's the saddest part - because whatever you tell yourself to make things better, it's not enough to replace what you lost. That hole in your heart will always be there...and the more you live, the more you gain AND lose...and that hole will shrink and expand every single day.

But that's life. And I have to say that I feel the most alive when my feelings are at their peak, be it life or death. I wish so bad it was all about feeling the intricacies of living things...but it's not. That sting of death and loss and hurt always finds its way in, somehow, to remind you.

As long as we always keep remembering the happiness as more important than the sadness, then we can at least stay afloat. And we have to try to keep each other happy, too. We should all have the responsibility to make this world a better place.

Peace, and God bless.

www.postsecret.com

Frustrated...

Well...after waiting and waiting and WAITING...I've decided to stop...waiting, that is. A week and a half ago I tried one final time to convince the people at the High Commission of India and the people at the Indian Council for Cultural Relations that I still very much want to go to India for one year and study. Having received no response, despite my inquiries to the High Commission, I'm gonna go ahead and just declare this whole studying-Indian-music-thing officially OVER!

The funny thing is...I don't really care all that much. I mean, I do...it would have been fantastic. But I'm so glad I'm not there and knowing I have to be there for three years. I mean, I'm sorry but I just didn't want to commit to a 3-year program without knowing what it would be like, etc. So sue me. There are so many things I want to do in the next three years - mainly traveling :)

But that's not to say I'm not going to India, because for anyone who knows me, they know that I've been wanting to go to India for a LONG time. And I made it my goal that this year, 2008, I would go, having finished my Undergrad degree. So I figure that I'm gonna go in about a month and stay until mid-January...so I'm not missing as much of winter as I would have liked, but at the same time, I don't have a ton of money and I don't want to spend a ton of money, either. Besides, once I get back, I may just venture on down to Florida and spend some time with my grandma and just relax in a much more pleasant climate than being in Saskatchewan.

So that's that. At the same time, though, I feel like a total retard because I see all these people who ask me "What are you still doing here?!" Honestly, I was supposed to be in India two weeks ago. It's almost embarrassing having to explain the situation, although I really shouldn't be embarrassed. It's the High Commission/ICCR that should be embarrassed for not communicating with each other or getting back to me etc.

Like for real, the guy I've been in touch with at the High Commission seems incredibly lackadaisical and it's beyond frustrating trying to conduct a conversation with him since never once have I sensed that he gives a rat's ass about my situation.

In any event, that's that. It's interesting, though, how life works. I mean, I was freaking out when I found out about actually getting the scholarship. I was so happy, but at the same time I was completely gripped with terror. And oh how I hated life for handing me two cards at once: a chance to study in India (all-expenses paid), and a wonderful guy (okay, some people will scoff at this, but...well, they don't know this guy!). So now I'm not going to India for as long as I had foreseen, but I get to keep the boy ;) I mean, I feel like it's working out rather well at the moment...despite some of the romantic drama (and hilarious romantic drama it is!!) - but who ever said relationships were easy? You work things out and make the best of it all - if you want to...and this guy and I do want to make it work, so we will...end of story.

And for anyone who actually reads this (really? does anyone read this?), sorry for being super sketch on the details of the apple of my eye, but hey - if you want more info you can ask for a personal email where I can tell you about him instead of posting his vitals all over the Internet.

In other news, I ordered the Shar SuperLite viola case - that carbon-fibre one and I'm definitely gonna have to send it back because it's a piece of junk. It feels cheap, despite the fact that it was not at all. So, for string players, if you want a hard-shell case, stick to the BAM cases. That's my two cents.

Peace.