Together but Apart...

Akin to the philosophical question: "If a tree falls in the forest and no is around, does it still make a noise?", I pose this query: "If two people agree to be a 'couple' but they live 1000 miles apart, are they still a couple?"

My boyfriend lives in the mid-Western United States and I live in basically the middle of Canada. Since we don't get the chance to talk much in-person, we spend a lot of our time communicating via Google Chat, Google Video, and Skype. Fortunately these resources are free, but that doesn't mean that both of us haven't spent a considerable amount of money and time traveling to visit the other.

We have actually been really lucky that we have had the time and money to see each other fairly frequently. We even spent 5 weeks together in Europe in September. After that we were able to see each other every 3 weeks. We can't keep that up forever, as we've realized when we examine our dismal bank accounts. Therefore we're trying to go a solid two months without visits.

Two months feels like an eternity. I've been trying to fill up my calendar as much as possible so that I'm busy enough that time will start to fly by. So far I've noticed that I'm exhausted and still incredibly aware of the hours and days slowly ticking along.

But back to my original question: If two people agree to be a couple but live miles apart, are they still a couple? It seems like an oxymoron. When you think of yourself as being in a relationship, you assume that you will spend a considerable amount of time with the one who dominates your thoughts 90% of the time. So when that person lives in another country, you are relegated to your thoughts alone and the daily (hopefully) phone call/video chat. Not really an effective or substantial way of demonstrating your "couple-ness".

Still, there's not much more you can do when you can't just stop by their place on their way home from work. So you have to find other ways of cementing your bond: letters, postcards, voice messages, little ways to let the other know you're thinking about them.

And to be fair, when we ARE together we are most definitely a couple. That doesn't do much to quell the disappointment every time we have to say good-bye, though. Long-distance is hard and it sucks. I feel for everyone who doesn't live in the same city as their beloved.

So you do what you can with what you've got. As for me, it's off to another video chat and after that I'll be back to X-ing days off on my calendar and counting away at those slowly-moving hours.